ABERDEEN - A Coping With Conflict in the 21st Century Seminar, recently brought to Temple Rodeph Torah, Mohawk Drive, Marlboro for the purpose of having teenagers examine how those around them are treated and how they themselves treat others.

The Marlboro temple and Aberdeen’s Temple Shalom, Arymont Lane, ran the seminar, which demonstrated how Jewish people have been treated poorly throughout history to parallel how teenagers presently treat each other.

The seminar took place between 7 to 9 p.m. on Nov. 18. 110 kids, aged 16 and 17, were present, for the two, one-hour sessions, George Anthony, of Middletown Township, who led the seminar said.
“By bringing me in, you gave (the teenagers) more of a picture that what we do does make a difference,” Anthony said.

Anthony brought two students to the temple, which each played a role in a scenario regarding bullying. Other people, who took part in the seminar, were not told that the targets were only actors. They were seen as another member of the group, Anthony said.

The first target, Edward Pepitone, came in acting shy and was dressed in clothing unlike clothes the rest of the group would wear. Certain kids, who attended the seminar, were let in on the secret by Anthony and told to purposely mock Pepitone. This was done so Anthony could see how the rest of the group would react. Anthony said he would look to see if they would help Pepitone, laugh at him, or do nothing. Doing nothing is just as bad laughing at someone being bullied, because it gives the bully a motive to keep bothering him or her, since they are not challenged, Anthony said.

During the second group’s seminar, a girl from the temple group stood up and told the rest that Edward had enough. After this, Edward left, then came back and thanked the girl for standing up for him. After letting the group know he was a planted target, Pepitone asked them if they could compare what had just happened to what happened to Jewish people during the Holocaust. Edward compared it by saying Jewish people were alone, just like the target and began a further talk about how the world the rest of the world looked away from what happened in Germany during Kristallnacht.

Kristallnacht was seen as a German problem, not a world problem, by the rest of the world, and bullying is currently seen as a school problem, not a community problem, Pepitone told the students. Since the child belongs to the school and the school is part of the community, bullying should be treated as a problem for the whole community, Anthony said. “It’s not just a person being bullied, because the community is effected,”

After this idea was examined, Katie McAvoy came out and spoke to the group. McAvoy asked those in attendance about their lives and other issues they felt are important. She then asked how they felt about standing alone in their opinions. Some said that standing alone in their opinions was positive because it showed that they stood for what they believed in. Others said that standing alone in a belief, made them feel alone.

McAvoy told the teenagers that students that feel alone need to be acknowledged by a hello or nod of the head.

“Just say to the person that you are not alone,” Anthony said. “For some people, that’s enough.”
Anthony said that there are three choices people had when being bullied. These are walking away, confronting the person, or carefully choosing words to resolve the problem.

Choosing words to resolve it is the best resort, as the other two may not completely take care of the situation.

Anthony spoke about an experience he had with Seeds of Peace, an organization founded by John Wallach the former international reporter for the Washington Post. Seeds of Peace organized the first Middle East Youth Summit in Villars, Switzerland, in May of 1998. This brought together youths from Egypt, Israel, Jordan, the Palestinian National Authority and the United States to explore new ways to end the Middle East peace conflict.

Anthony said, “Another objective to this evening was to in effect empower these teens to return to their home, communities an schools, feeling empowered to make a difference,”

Since the workshop takes place just after the teenagers leave school for the day and is later in the evening, Anthony tries to keep them sharp with fresh material they can relate to, “Something where they can see themselves,” he said.

He also teaches students to stay positive through the world’s realities, by having them focus on positive events, Many people have asked him how to be positive in a world falling apart, 
“What I tell them is, you can’t deny that the world is a dangerous place, but the world is an incredible place and a lot of incredible things are happening,” he said.

Even though the news focuses mainly on negative occurrences, people still are accomplishing great things, he said. There are many people in the world who’s main focus is to take care of their families, even though there are groups that want to take that away, Anthony said.

Organizations such as charities and peace organizations are good for people to be involved in because they promote peace, he said. When people surround themselves with groups that promote peace, they can’t help but find hope, he said.

“You need to empower people to believe that they can make a difference,” Anthony said.
Anthony trains throughout the tri state area school districts on bully initiatives, leadership and mediation. He just recently trained Central School in Keyport on anti-bullying strategies