| Bully Bully: Peer leadership program targets teen aggression |
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By KEITH BROWN STAFF WRITER Published in the Asbury Park Press 3/26/03 There are no innocent bystanders when it comes to schoolyard bullies, and everyone who fails to step in to help a bullied child is guilty of being an accomplice. Conflict resolution trainer George Anthony didn't mince words during his lecture on student bullying at the Brookdale Community College Bayshore Learning Center in Hazlet March 18. "We live in a culture where it's normal to be mean, and the exception to be kind," Anthony, 43, of Middletown, said.Anthony, a New York history teacher and nationally recognized conflict resolution specialist, calls this the "Culture of Cruelty," and blames it for allowing bullying to continue practically unabated in some schools. He's not the only one who thinks so, either. Last year, New Jersey became one of a growing number of states to pass legislation requiring school districts to adopt some kind of bullying policy. The bill passed unanimously. Aimed at educators and parents, Anthony's lecture identified bullying as one of the lead factors in school shootings, something national studies reveal. A 2001 report by the Secret Service said that in 37 of the latest school shootings -- including Columbine -- the shooters felt bullied, threatened, attacked or persecuted. "If you ask any child who has been victimized by a bully what he feels like when he's being bullied, the No. 1 answer you'll get is 'I feel alone,' " Anthony said. According to Anthony, whose school-based conflict resolution program has been profiled on the television news program "20/20," the way to prevent this victimization is create an atmosphere that "takes the cool out of bullying."That isn't necessarily difficult to achieve, Anthony said. But the effect is profound. "This is a 'bottom up' approach. Trust the kids, give them the skills to resolve conflicts themselves and let them know that it is safe to report bullying," Anthony said. At the core of Anthony's program is a peer mediation/leadership group where students are trained in using empathetic skills, use of specific non confrontational language and negotiation techniques."Kids respond so much better to their peers than they do with adults. When the right message comes from a peer, kids really take that to heart," Anthony said. "For instance, I teach my leadership groups to recognize those kids walking through the halls with their heads down, the kids targeted by bullies, and I tell them to just say 'hey' to that kid as they pass in the halls."The next day, a little more interaction, then a little more. Pretty soon, that kid will walk into my leadership class knowing he's got 40 instant friends to support him. He's not alone anymore." It's a nice theory. But does it work? Keyport Central School Principal Rob Higham said it does. "What we've seen is that we've been able to connect with some of the 'invisible' kids, the kids on the fringes, and help them feel part of the school community." Higham said the school has established a leadership group that meets weekly and attracts a core group of about 15 kids in grades 5 through 8 who have been trained as peer mediators."What's nice about it is that it takes the adults out of the way. The kids resolve their own conflicts. And often, they do so faster than we could," Higham said. Said Anthony: "When kids learn the right words, the right choice of words, when they find their own voice, it gives them a sense that, 'Hey, I am somebody. I can make a difference.' That's what changes the culture." |
